The Unsolicited Feedback Letter Most Bosses Would Love To Get — Excerpts From A Real Letter

“You will leave a legacy here. We are better because of your leadership and advocacy.” — From the letter

Boss bashing by employees and media commentators has a long and storied tradition and now, because of the pandemic and all of its workplace ripples, it has never been more fashionable despite the billions of dollars spent each year on leadership training. It’s only a slight exaggeration to suggest that it’s approaching zeitgeist status in the workplace.

It’s the age of discontent, it seems, and in many cases, leaders and managers are caught in the middle of changing expectations and dynamics. And studies have shown that most employees don’t leave a job because they are dissatisfied with their employer, they leave because of their direct supervisor.

That’s why it’s refreshing to see tangible evidence of an individual writing an unsolicited and gracious “thank you” email note to their leader when that leader has elected to leave the organization. I’ll quote generously from that email, and it confirms the positive impact a leader can have on another when they are intentional, treats others as adults, demonstrates emotional intelligence, and as Pepsi ex-CEO Indra Gupta famously said, “assumes good intentions.” Oh, yes — and has excellent technical/clinical skills. Let’s not forget demonstrating two other usual suspects for leadership: high standards and grounded values.

Here is some background, some context. This leader is in the healthcare industry and has been employed as a physician-leader in a large hospital system for the past six years. Especially since the onset of the pandemic, healthcare is a challenging milieu in which to work, regardless of your job or your level.

This individual, whom I have known for years, recently accepted a position at another health system. This leader was thrilled to get the team member’s note and with a great deal of humility shared it with me, partly because of my long professional background and interest in leadership training and coaching.

It’s a wonderful opportunity for this leader but it means having to say goodbye to colleagues and team members from those six years at the institution. And out of the blue, one of those team members sent this exiting leader a remarkable email, portions of which I’ll share here.

What impresses me about the note is that it’s not awash with platitudes and abstract praise, such as “ You’ve been awesome to work with.” Instead, much of the feedback is in very specific and behavioral terms. Here are examples from the note, mostly verbatim except where occasionally I’ve substituted a word to protect the anonymity of this leader and the leader’s clinical discipline:

• “You’ve developed guidelines to bring clarity to challenges with [patients], including those with substance abuse. You bring the evidence into active practice. You meet with patients to discuss the risks and benefits.”
• “Thank you for challenging the [existing] practices.”
• “I will miss working with you at the bedside. I have appreciated your ability to listen and provide a measured response and approach.”
• “I have always been able to rely on you. I know that when we develop and review clinical practice guidelines, you are engaged and provide clear direction with sound rationale.”

Again, this is wonderfully precise and behavioral language. As someone who has trained many, many leaders in how to give effective feedback as well as how to write effective performance reviews, my view is that this is close to the gold standard for specificity.

But wait — there’s more…

• “When I have asked on multiple occasions for your review on documents, you have taken the time to thoroughly complete the reviews which have substantially improved the final version.”
• “You respond to emails in a timely and thoughtful manner.”
• “You are never dismissive.”
• “You provide a rational approach to clinical situations that are often messy. I will very much miss being able to garner a [clinical procedure] consult from you.”
• “All these actions have not gone unnoticed. I can depend on you. This says you value our contributions as members of the team. I have thoroughly appreciated this.”

The email author ends with this: “ I know there are still a few months before you leave but wanted you to know that I will miss you. This program will miss you. I think every [program name] should have a director of [clinical area] medicine like you. You are the benchmark. I just wanted you to know how much I have appreciated you and your contributions to the care of the [patients] and their families.”

Pretty extraordinary for an unsolicited letter. And I’m told this physician-leader has had very few leadership training courses over all the years in med school, residency, and during the fellowship period while being credentialed for their sub-specialty area.

Back in the early 80s, a popular Todd Rundgren song (“Bang the drum all day”) had a verse that called out discontent at work:

Every day when I get home from work, I feel so frustrated, the boss is a jerk;

And I get my sticks and go out to the shed and I pound on that drum like it was the boss’s head!

It makes for a colorful allusion but no, Todd, it’s not a universal experience or sense of rage. Not even now.

Hence, the excerpted email I’ve shared here confirms for me a couple of things I already believed:

• Being a jerk boss is not destiny;
• Being a really good boss requires a skill set, a mindset and intentionality;
• Good bosses don’t receive letters like this nearly enough to let them know they are making a tremendous difference in the lives of their teammates, customers, patients, colleagues, etc.

Reader takeaway assignment — Think about one of the best bosses you have had — or have — and let them know that they are good and why. Tell them how they have made a difference in you. Make it an unexpected “out of the blue” experience like this leader had. If it’s your current boss, make sure it does not have a suck-up quality to it, of course. And remember the power of being specific.

Call it gratitude. Call it appreciation. Call it the power of feedback.

About the author: Mike Hoban is a business topics writer. He is actively working at becoming a world-class grandpa to his six young granddaughters. In addition to his 40 years experience as a leader, consultant, executive coach, and business owner he has also published extensively in Fast Company and wrote many thought leadership pieces for DDI when he was there. He also wrote a business column for 12 years. His many commentary articles can be found on his LinkedIn page: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mike-hoban-b5756b6/ He can also be reached at mjhoban99@gmail.com.

Originally published at https://www.linkedin.com.